Don't think I'm not going to have a little talk with the little blk boys parents who did this to my son.
" />
" />
" />
" />
Broken collar bone
Monday, October 22, 2012
My poor baby :(
Don't think I'm not going to have a little talk with the little blk boys parents who did this to my son.
Don't think I'm not going to have a little talk with the little blk boys parents who did this to my son.
Dillon's 8th Triathlon! With his triathlete mentor Grant Jarvis
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Yard work!!!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
I have been SOOOO busy lately!!! From, full time school, having lunch with my boy at his school 3 times a week, baseball practices twice a week, double header once a week, his triathlon training every week, and the runners club, not including dinner and homework I have to do after hours and ALL house stuff that sometimes seems a little overwhelming for a single mom. But I have always made it happen, so I'll never quit. NOR ever give responsibilities to those who ask me for them. Like... ever again.
lol. That sure was a pit bulls bite on my butt!
Anyways, because I live on an elevation that's high enough to get heavy winds almost year round, I've had to replace my fence at minimum twice a year. Over time, it has just deteriorated. The posts have rotted, a couple completely broke off ground level.
So I pulled the fence down yesterday. It actually makes the yard look so much bigger. Maybe plant a few plants on the fence line just to see where the property line is. Lacy lives next door, so Dillon and Lacy can run back and forth easily.
It was a lot of work pulling all panels to the road, but got it all knocked out in one day.
Another reason as to why I don't write on here as often, is because my "blood" sister reads this page. And honestly, I don't want her knowing anything about my life. Because she's not a part of it. So why even be so nosey as to be in someone's life who doesn't want you there. Stacy Daiker is just all drama, and her ultimate goal is to make me cry every time were on the phone. She's done nothing for the family and only stays just close enough to our parents so she can take advantage of them later on. She always uses things against people and lives in the past. Very selfish and cruel individual. I will never forgive her after she refused to take my son in when my son was in custody after my ex tortured him. And get this, when I broke my NECK, she didn't give a flip.
I'm not missing anything by not having her in my life.
My friends, are my family. And has been much more of a positive influence and role model in my life than she ever had been. Poor Mia.
To end on a more positive note, my son is my world. And I'll do everything to protect him. He is the reason why I have excelled in college. My son. An innocent little boy. A boy that doesn't have the knowledge to direct me, but has all the power in the world to direct me.
Now... back to this scheduled program.
lol. That sure was a pit bulls bite on my butt!
Anyways, because I live on an elevation that's high enough to get heavy winds almost year round, I've had to replace my fence at minimum twice a year. Over time, it has just deteriorated. The posts have rotted, a couple completely broke off ground level.
So I pulled the fence down yesterday. It actually makes the yard look so much bigger. Maybe plant a few plants on the fence line just to see where the property line is. Lacy lives next door, so Dillon and Lacy can run back and forth easily.
It was a lot of work pulling all panels to the road, but got it all knocked out in one day.
Another reason as to why I don't write on here as often, is because my "blood" sister reads this page. And honestly, I don't want her knowing anything about my life. Because she's not a part of it. So why even be so nosey as to be in someone's life who doesn't want you there. Stacy Daiker is just all drama, and her ultimate goal is to make me cry every time were on the phone. She's done nothing for the family and only stays just close enough to our parents so she can take advantage of them later on. She always uses things against people and lives in the past. Very selfish and cruel individual. I will never forgive her after she refused to take my son in when my son was in custody after my ex tortured him. And get this, when I broke my NECK, she didn't give a flip.
I'm not missing anything by not having her in my life.
My friends, are my family. And has been much more of a positive influence and role model in my life than she ever had been. Poor Mia.
To end on a more positive note, my son is my world. And I'll do everything to protect him. He is the reason why I have excelled in college. My son. An innocent little boy. A boy that doesn't have the knowledge to direct me, but has all the power in the world to direct me.
Now... back to this scheduled program.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
I have been slacking yet again on this blog.
Life has been so busy, but I can say I'm finally off Hawaii and back on CST!
Summer was fantastic, words couldn't explain how much I love spending with my boy day in and day out ALL day EVERY day!
The 2012/2013 school year has begun! For both myself, and my boy.
He's not in elementary any longer. I am so proud of him! He's soaring through Spanish classes and running clubs not including everything he has signed up for!
My classes are incredible. Better yet, the teachers are! ratemyprofessor.com has truly worked out in my favor. I'm glad I used it this year! This should be my last semester of Algebra, SO EXCITED!!! So after this round, I will only have my science courses then I'll be the first person in my family, to not only go to a day of college, but get my DEGREE!!!
I will say it has not been easy doing it solo. Learning it all from scratch. Not having support family.
I sure have gotten the short end of the stick with "family" "giving up ex-husband" but I have gotten the long lucky end of the stick with life long friends and a new church that I love. And those non existent people have only made me stronger, smarter and more confident. :)
So here's to a new and busy semester!
BABY STEPS! :)))
Life has been so busy, but I can say I'm finally off Hawaii and back on CST!
Summer was fantastic, words couldn't explain how much I love spending with my boy day in and day out ALL day EVERY day!
The 2012/2013 school year has begun! For both myself, and my boy.
He's not in elementary any longer. I am so proud of him! He's soaring through Spanish classes and running clubs not including everything he has signed up for!
My classes are incredible. Better yet, the teachers are! ratemyprofessor.com has truly worked out in my favor. I'm glad I used it this year! This should be my last semester of Algebra, SO EXCITED!!! So after this round, I will only have my science courses then I'll be the first person in my family, to not only go to a day of college, but get my DEGREE!!!
I will say it has not been easy doing it solo. Learning it all from scratch. Not having support family.
I sure have gotten the short end of the stick with "family" "giving up ex-husband" but I have gotten the long lucky end of the stick with life long friends and a new church that I love. And those non existent people have only made me stronger, smarter and more confident. :)
So here's to a new and busy semester!
BABY STEPS! :)))
Monday, August 13, 2012
Dillon had his very first ever nightmare tonight. He woke up bawling his eyes out. I can't even express the pain in my heart for him.
I told him to get in my bed. I held him for a while before he said he needed to go wash his face.
He walks into the bathroom, shuts the doors and then turns on the light. My little selfless respectful young man.
Then then opens one door and says...
"Mom?"
"Yes babe?"
"Do you ever still think about Jimmy?"
Being caught off guard because I never bring up anything about him (outside this blog), I answer.
"Yes. Every day."
"Do you think, when I get older, I could have his ring that is sitting in your bathroom?"
"Yes son"
"Whatever happened to your ring?"
"He wanted it back."
"So you wanted his ring back?"
"No son, he took my ring and then gave his ring to my attorney that gave it to me."
"Oh." "He didn't want it?"
"I guess not."
Poor baby boy. His heart has been so broken. He deserves happiness.
I sure hope I'm fulfilling that.
And I pray that a man of honor walks into our lives. He needs Godly guidance from a genuine male role model. He deserves at least that. Because I want him to be one that doesn't just give up. I want him to be what God calls us to be! A true leader!
I told him to get in my bed. I held him for a while before he said he needed to go wash his face.
He walks into the bathroom, shuts the doors and then turns on the light. My little selfless respectful young man.
Then then opens one door and says...
"Mom?"
"Yes babe?"
"Do you ever still think about Jimmy?"
Being caught off guard because I never bring up anything about him (outside this blog), I answer.
"Yes. Every day."
"Do you think, when I get older, I could have his ring that is sitting in your bathroom?"
"Yes son"
"Whatever happened to your ring?"
"He wanted it back."
"So you wanted his ring back?"
"No son, he took my ring and then gave his ring to my attorney that gave it to me."
"Oh." "He didn't want it?"
"I guess not."
Poor baby boy. His heart has been so broken. He deserves happiness.
I sure hope I'm fulfilling that.
And I pray that a man of honor walks into our lives. He needs Godly guidance from a genuine male role model. He deserves at least that. Because I want him to be one that doesn't just give up. I want him to be what God calls us to be! A true leader!
Dear future husband Letter#632477
Friday, August 3, 2012
I must be honest and tell you I am afraid. I am afraid of relationships. I am scared to feel that kind of pain again.
I would by lying if I didn't tell you that the thought of being back with my ex husband didn't cross my mind. Maybe because since I was hurt, I would expect him to do the same. That makes things easier.
What makes things harder is trusting someone new. To give him a fresh heart and to take the chance of my heart being broken once again.
I'm afraid that I'd be controlled again. I'm a vet independent person and like getting the job done. I want you to appreciate that and not lack the confidence that I wouldn't consider you man enough because I didn't give you more "responsibilites". I've done this before... and he left. And I lost who I was because I gave him a part of me. MY strength of conquering everything in my path that he took away. It took my years to regain. I'm afraid of being judged by things I say. AND things I DONT say! I came across a journal entry the other day saying that he had gotten onto me about being on the computer (totally understandable and I take full responsibility for being on it too often) but then it follows up with how I got off the computer and there was nothing to do, so I was just sitting on the bed. He came to the bedroom (I assume to check to see if I was on the computer) and he asked me what I was doing, I said "Just sitting here" and he said "OK" turned and walked away. I drew an eye with a tear drop. I suppose him just wanting control and not simply caring truly hurt me. I'm afraid of this.
I want someone who sees who I am. Someone that sees how much I desire to love and change the world. Not just confine me to a single element but wants me to reach what I need to reach for the Kingdom. Someone who doesn't hide who they are from their parents. Who is not afraid to acknowledge that they are sinners just like we all are. I value someone admitting their failures. I want to take those and turn them around. And I want to love them. But most of all I want to trust.
I'm afraid I've had to learn that you must earn trust now days. You cannot just give it.
I know what it's like to love someone, with every thing I had. But I would like.. sometimes in my life,.. to know and feel what it's like,.. for someone to love me.
Not just steal my heart, soul, identity and my belongings.
I want him to believe in me.
Believe in us.
Believe in himself.
And most importantly, BELIEVE in God!
I would by lying if I didn't tell you that the thought of being back with my ex husband didn't cross my mind. Maybe because since I was hurt, I would expect him to do the same. That makes things easier.
What makes things harder is trusting someone new. To give him a fresh heart and to take the chance of my heart being broken once again.
I'm afraid that I'd be controlled again. I'm a vet independent person and like getting the job done. I want you to appreciate that and not lack the confidence that I wouldn't consider you man enough because I didn't give you more "responsibilites". I've done this before... and he left. And I lost who I was because I gave him a part of me. MY strength of conquering everything in my path that he took away. It took my years to regain. I'm afraid of being judged by things I say. AND things I DONT say! I came across a journal entry the other day saying that he had gotten onto me about being on the computer (totally understandable and I take full responsibility for being on it too often) but then it follows up with how I got off the computer and there was nothing to do, so I was just sitting on the bed. He came to the bedroom (I assume to check to see if I was on the computer) and he asked me what I was doing, I said "Just sitting here" and he said "OK" turned and walked away. I drew an eye with a tear drop. I suppose him just wanting control and not simply caring truly hurt me. I'm afraid of this.
I want someone who sees who I am. Someone that sees how much I desire to love and change the world. Not just confine me to a single element but wants me to reach what I need to reach for the Kingdom. Someone who doesn't hide who they are from their parents. Who is not afraid to acknowledge that they are sinners just like we all are. I value someone admitting their failures. I want to take those and turn them around. And I want to love them. But most of all I want to trust.
I'm afraid I've had to learn that you must earn trust now days. You cannot just give it.
I know what it's like to love someone, with every thing I had. But I would like.. sometimes in my life,.. to know and feel what it's like,.. for someone to love me.
Not just steal my heart, soul, identity and my belongings.
I want him to believe in me.
Believe in us.
Believe in himself.
And most importantly, BELIEVE in God!
As most people now have Pinterest accounts, or... maybe at least girls,.. you would know that there are a LOT of pins having to do with weddings.
Looking back on the times... ...in my life,.. us girls have gone to numerous weddings in our life. From young to old,... in love or in pain,.. we still view them as such beautiful events. And in the back of our minds we revert back to our childhood imagining the glitz and glamour, rose pedals, makeup, and princess dresses that we imagine ourselves being in. We imagine the love filled through the air, and prince charming waiting to rescue our hearts at the end of our long-painful journey. Rescuing us from all the outside forces of nature, words and tears that come from this world. We go into a marriage, as women, not even expecting, but just KNOWING the fact that our husband will never ever let us down. That even his failures are just events we will kiss and hold close to our heart, as we take out our heart and physically give it to him. Marriage is such a beautiful thing.
And as years and years have passed and are passing by ever so quickly, as a girl, in her fantasy world,.. the one wedding I ever had, couldn't have been more... perfect.
Maybe we weren't perfect individually. But somehow God chose us to unite. Though our could may always be combined as one, a marriage I've always dreamt about,... through goodness and through bad, through sickness and through health,... we failed.
I will be honest and tell you that there are moments that cross my mind and make me think of him. That no matter how much he hated me, I will still always love him. No matter what ever happened, in my ever so confused nature along with my knowledge if's,...
I've tried to move on. But other than my son, no one has ever had my heart and love like he has.
I looked through an old digital camera yesterday. Uploaded the pictures to my computer. I smile from the special moments we once shared. And though there was so much pain, and the pain that still exists, I as well had so many wonderful experiences. Some that just no one can compare to.
I would lie if I said I don't miss him holding me at night. I would lie if I said I didn't miss how much he sweated at the gym. I would lie if I said that some of those little dumb things that he did that just got under my skin, that I never spoke of,.. how I'd wish for those things to creep under my skin now. Just to smile. And know,... that no matter what happened during the day, all things faded away as soon as he simply looked me in the eyes.
How the very last time I saw his eyes, they were not the same. How much I just wanted to reach so deep inside of him and shake his heart. And how I wanted him to shake mine at the same time.
Just for both of us to know that we were not perfect individually, but we were perfect together. At least I thought so.
Maybe it was just me... ...that wanted forever. Maybe I was fooling myself. Maybe the mom and dad I always wanted were same mom and dad as my own. Maybe in my own little world I thought things could truly hold together. Break at times, yes,.. but not fully come apart.
Had I known branches snapped. Had I known what to have done. Had I known how to be perfect. I would have been.
I never got the chance to be..."her". The girl I had always dreamed about being.
The girl,... he would always be true to.
FOUR DILLONS?
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
This is really how I feel sometimes! Mom, over here, no here, no here, right here! lol!!!
Destination, completed. Hawaii
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Over 2 weeks, 6 flights, Volcanos, Lava Tubes, Cinder cones, snow cones, snorkeling, luau, Boat to Coconut Island, Pearl Harbor, Fresh caught Ahi, hiking, Gardens, Pirates of the Caribbean & Jurassic Park film sites, Flowering plants, Waterfalls, Astrology, History, Science, and one too many macadamia nuts... Busy from morning to dusk, daily... jet lag has officially kicked in. 
June Pic of the Day, Day 14 "Time"
Friday, June 15, 2012
It's luau "Time". Tons of my ultimate favorite living creature and a grand time. <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
About Me
- Jules
- This story is about a girl that loves LOVE! Where would we be without it? I love Jesus. I love Dillon. I love dancing. I love the stars. I love singing. I love makeup & stilettos. I love fashion. I love to cook. I love photography. I love cycling, running, swimming, hiking, checking facebook friend status updates, jumping on the trampoline, going to church,I love connecting with other women who have encountered pain as I had, volunteering, watching movies, planting flowers, drawing, sewing, scrapbooking, Versa Spa, Vita-C Serum, Black finger nail polish, perfecting things. I love being totally RaNdOm! TRAVELING!!! I love sinners. I love nonbelievers. Oh the joy it brings inside this heart of mine the reaction they're going to have when they see Jesus face to face! What a party we'll have!
