Last thing to be expected!!!

Whyyyyyy???

Okay, so I am so incredibly on fire right now! Happier then I have ever been in my life! I'm starting to see God's plan... but sometimes He throws me right off track! Well, at least in my point of view.

I have been establishing myself, on my own, and have been very happy with results. It's been hard. It took me awhile to complete all my testing to become an official licensed esthetician because each test was around $100. But I finally did it, and doing what I've been wanting to do my entire life.

This is the first time in my ENTIRE LIFE where I have felt complete... alone!

So WHYYYYYY???

I'm not exactly sure how things happened. Or how things evolved. I've kept myself from opening up to people because my lack of trust. And I had no desire to approach to even talk to the opposite sex.

I still have these boundaries in my heart. It will have to be earned this time around. Kinda sucks how one bad guy can ruin it for the good guys out there. But I actually feel good about it because I am in control of me, my feelings, my worth. I know how valuable I am. And if there were something that I learned in past experiences... is to have a head on my shoulder of my own!

I can easily, without a doubt survive without a man.

So WHYYYYYY???

My divorce is coming up to a year already. I can't believe it. It doesn't seem that long ago. But throughout that entire time, I have been obedient through it all.

In the back of my head, I feel like it's too soon. But then again, my main focus is friendship. And building off of that. Why rush when things are so amazingly awesome as they are now?!

So if you hadn't figured it out. I've opened myself up to trust a particular individual. What is really neat about this is that I don't really have to do all the dirty work. lol. He's part of my Church Family, very open with life, involved, and everyone and their mom knows him it seems like. Just listening to people and what they say about him, puts a smile on my face.


One thing that I'm trying to stay focused on is the pain I went through. Although I don't want this guy to think I am still "there" because I am not... I have been able to help so many more people with the experiences I've encountered. So I kind of don't want to let them go (the thoughts that is). Plus, I want to write a book one day and emotionally be involved with every word.

Dear God,
Only you know me inside and out. Please keep my heart tight next to yours. I think after 27 years, I'd like to finally have some consistency in my life. Please show me what that feels like.
I love you

So Why? I'm not going to question. I'm enjoying what you're doing in my life =)