Care less for anything more

I went to lunch with a friend from church yesterday, our topic... "dating".

She asks me why and how do I get approached so often. And I explained...

I used to be needy, and when you're needy is when you get the WRONG guy! Those guys abuse women. Take advantage of, lie about, get what they want out of it, but really manipulative into making you think that all your dreams are coming true, then leave. And come to find out why they do such things is because they aren't in control of their own lives. So the only way to feel like a "man" is to be able to control the only thing they can possibly control... their wives.

Most girls deny that they are "needy". All women want to feel independent. But if you are SEARCHING for someone, then you are NEEDY! It is the truth. Yes, a majority of us want to be wanted. Want to be held. Want to be loved. Want to be hugged, kissed... and just have that companion. But if you LOOK for it, is when you're being selfish and not letting God do His thing. That's when it begins to crumble.

Oh I've been there! I've laid down some $$$ to find an individual. STUPID decision! I wish I could tell everyone in the entire world... PLEASE be CAREFUL who you get involved with! Some can be SO SLY! Some may seem like the prince charming that they AREN'T. Comfort you by telling you the things that matters most to you, but hide the things that matter most to him.

Most of my friends are older then me... still having dating issues. But I can say, that it's not the age in men. My ex was 7 years older then I. Don't think because he is a pastors son that he will be a "good guy". Or if he works for a very large ministry (such as the person my friend dated). The FIRST thing a guy is going to tell you... is something that is going to make you want to trust him!

DO NOT GO BASED ON HIS FAMILY OR WHAT HE IS INVOLVED WITH!

You have to dig deeper. I've learned how to watch out for the slightest of a red flag. From what their "fantasies" are. To how involved they are. Where their heart is. How far away they live from their parents (there might just be a reason for that). They might seem incredibly close, and maybe the parents have no clue,... but maybe just maybe he is really someone else then what his parents think he is.

There are going to be those days where you feel lonely. That's okay. One thing I can say is... IMMEDIATELY get in the Word! It will feel your every emotion, every desire, your thirst, your hunger! It will fulfill you!

When you come to a point where you're completely content with being on your own. You KNOW you can conquer anything you set your mind to. When you put God first, then focus on you, your temple, everything that matters most, then one day when you're REALLY NOT WANTING ANYTHING AT ALL, people tend to approach you from all angles.

But the best part of this is that you're now in control of your life. Yeah, it's kind of nice to get attention. All girls like attention. But you care less for anything more. You work out daily because you want it. Because it feels good to your soul. You can love everyone, male or female without having any at all thoughts of "POTENTIAL".

That's another problem with single woman. Every guy we meet, it's not just a thought of "friendship"... it's literally "potential". You CANNOT think that way! C A N N O T! It's ooooooookay to be FRIENDS with a guy. Don't think any more then that. And honestly, a guy finds that as being a "challenge". If that's the case, a chase is NOT what you want. Tellem' to get lost. lol But in a nicer way.

If you're like me, we don't like to hurt a guys feelings. But look... they aren't opposed to hurting us! They care less. (I'm not saying all guys are like that, but all the guys IVE dealt with are). But honestly, guys are more brutally honest about their feelings then girls. If he's not "the" guy, then IT'S OKAY to tell him honestly how you feel! "Hey, I don't want to waste your time, but I'm not the girl for you" (trying to play it out in a nice way), then they may try and make you feel good by saying something like "You are more then what I ever could have imagined",... so then naturally as a stupid girl, we fall for the crap. Excuse my language.

That was a red flag us girls NEVER pay attention to! We never seen it!

If you desire to have a good husband one day,... don't cheat yourself. Be honest with yourself and your feelings. Love yourself. If you lack self-respect or self-esteem... you are guaranteed to be walked all over.

Be filled! Let your cup overflow! Be happy with who you are! Don't let anyone at all tell you that you are unworthy! You ARE WORTHY! Why do you think God put you here! You are so much more valuable then you know! And when you find that... (not pridefully) but when you are capable of knowing this, and bowing down to the one who brought you there... then you just know... that by His works, in HIS time, He will give you your hearts desires! Trust Him. Let Him be the center of your life! LET NO ONE COME BEFORE HIM!

I can only say this, because I've done this.
Love what you have. Isn't that enough?