So, our weekend is now coming to an end. It's been some time now. Kinda sad in a way that my biggest dream didn't come true. I know I have till Valentines but you know... this weekend was OUR weekend. Sometimes I wonder if things mean more to me than anyone else in the world. Of all time.
Holding on hurts if not more than anything else in the world. I've prayed and have dug into my bible, read so many scriptures, chapters, books and over time I have felt Someone speak to my heart. I have set a date as to when my heart will let go. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. Or that I've stopped caring. It's that the other hasn't cared enough. And I truly believe in my heart and soul that I deserve someone who truly does care about me.
I want to feel that.

Even though I see myself 110% focusing on school and work for now, I do not have the time to invest into starting something new. I feel like my heart belongs to someone right now anyways, but I know... I must cut my heart off from this. And I know that when I cut my heart from this, I don't know of the possibilities of it making it happen again. I just feel so cut off, so mislead, so hurt not only for myself but for both kids, it turns my stomach inside out. I cannot go on like this. And I must end it in my heart.

As the clock strikes midnight and Valentines Day comes to an end, I will then know from the pit of my heart, where the seed spills out the life of love. It's completely over.

I'm already preparing my heart for the outcome.