Sometimes we do things and deep inside our heart we know by God it's wrong, but we convince ourselves that it is okay, and we talk to our friends about the problems we're facing, because if their on your side, you feel better about the situation, giving you the go-ahead. But don't make yourself out to be the bad guy, because they won't give you the answer your flesh is looking for.
Does it make it right?
A week ago, prior to this lifestyle I now live, I used to do just this.
But by coming to the Lord, and reaching out to Him for ALL of my problems, I've FINALLY see that now I'm not afraid to hide what's wrong about me! And I just read in the bible the other day (I apologize for not remembering the book or scipture) but it shows us that we need to come before the Lord as unclean. How we need to not make ourselves out to be this person we aren't.
So be honest. When you make a promise before God, do what your spirit desires and not your flesh. It may be the hardest thing in the world, and you may feel as if the worlds view may change about you... but that's not God telling you that!
Be honest. Be true. God will bless you.
My love remains.
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Letter
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Passionate now more than ever before.
As my heart has changed for the Lord, may my husbands as well.
God is the creator.
I believe in Him. That's why I married.
A moment to look back on.
Jimmy did so much to prepare for our wedding.
And we were blessed by many.
Grandma Hayward gracefully blessed our wedding. She went on to be with the Lord shortly after our wedding.
We only have a short time here on earth.
A short time to be faithful in our marriage, by being honest to God that when we say until death do us part, we really mean it.
We heard from the guests at our wedding the Lord was present.
Our wedding was the most beautiful wedding!
And he looked so indescribably handsome when I first started down the isle.
Things get rocky at times.
But the strong and faithful will stick through!
And I know that he and I are strong and faithful.
I know him too well to believe anything else.
So as God works on me, let the power as well work on my amazing undying loving husband!
Like I've said over and over...
"You can count on me that I'm not going anywhere"
This is a promise I made, a promise I'll keep.
I love you Jimmy for everything you've done, and how strong you are with all you're going through to be obedient to our Lord.
You're one amazing man.
As my heart has changed for the Lord, may my husbands as well.
God is the creator.
I believe in Him. That's why I married.
A moment to look back on.
Jimmy did so much to prepare for our wedding.
And we were blessed by many.
Grandma Hayward gracefully blessed our wedding. She went on to be with the Lord shortly after our wedding.
We only have a short time here on earth.
A short time to be faithful in our marriage, by being honest to God that when we say until death do us part, we really mean it.
We heard from the guests at our wedding the Lord was present.
Our wedding was the most beautiful wedding!
And he looked so indescribably handsome when I first started down the isle.
Things get rocky at times.
But the strong and faithful will stick through!
And I know that he and I are strong and faithful.
I know him too well to believe anything else.
So as God works on me, let the power as well work on my amazing undying loving husband!
Like I've said over and over...
"You can count on me that I'm not going anywhere"
This is a promise I made, a promise I'll keep.
I love you Jimmy for everything you've done, and how strong you are with all you're going through to be obedient to our Lord.
You're one amazing man.
The sparkle in my eye is back
Friday, March 6, 2009
God has shown me alot within the past week!
I've faced alot of trials. Alot of pain.
I'm so happy I have such a faithful and loving Father!
Sometimes we get all down when were going through alot. Sometimes we think we just can't handle it anymore. Sometimes we have feelings of giving up.
God has a time. A moment for us all. Sometimes as we grow, people comment to us the things we need to change. Speaking for myself, I was so stubborn, I didn't see those things... or I didn't want to see those things.
God has a time. A moment for us all.
Last Sunday was my moment. The very moment when He embraced my heart.
Instead of looking at what everyone else around me is doing, I now focus on bettering me. Making good decisions for not only myself, but for those I love.
To not be so selfish.
To be more graceful.
To be more apologetic.
To be more peaceful.
To be more at ease.
To be more Christ-like.
Unfortunately it took divorce papers for me to see this. But I am thankful.
My goal is to be all the above and as well to be the best wife (as long as I will be one) and the best mother until the day I'm put to rest.
I'm a new woman now. With new eyes. I see more clearly. More than I ever have before.
God is... words can't even describe!
Lord, I asked you to bring it! You did, you have and you are!
I have been tested. And I can actually see them. There are times like today, when someone said something... and I felt so good at the end and prayed afterwards because I know it was a test I passed!!!
This is just the beginning! I'm looking forward to learning more. Surround myself with people that are great wifes, great mothers and Christ-like.
On a different note, I brought my creation of a masquing product (mask) to school. I created this mask for an after cleansing process.
I made it with some essential ingredients such as lavender, eucalyptus & almond.
The instructor told me I needed to patent it. It made me feel very blessed for my hard work in making it.
I plan on naming this product line... "Generation Purity"
So when you see this on the shelves, pick it up, and know it's made with the love that was created by God. Because He IS Love!
I've faced alot of trials. Alot of pain.
I'm so happy I have such a faithful and loving Father!
Sometimes we get all down when were going through alot. Sometimes we think we just can't handle it anymore. Sometimes we have feelings of giving up.
God has a time. A moment for us all. Sometimes as we grow, people comment to us the things we need to change. Speaking for myself, I was so stubborn, I didn't see those things... or I didn't want to see those things.
God has a time. A moment for us all.
Last Sunday was my moment. The very moment when He embraced my heart.
Instead of looking at what everyone else around me is doing, I now focus on bettering me. Making good decisions for not only myself, but for those I love.
To not be so selfish.
To be more graceful.
To be more apologetic.
To be more peaceful.
To be more at ease.
To be more Christ-like.
Unfortunately it took divorce papers for me to see this. But I am thankful.
My goal is to be all the above and as well to be the best wife (as long as I will be one) and the best mother until the day I'm put to rest.
I'm a new woman now. With new eyes. I see more clearly. More than I ever have before.
God is... words can't even describe!
Lord, I asked you to bring it! You did, you have and you are!
I have been tested. And I can actually see them. There are times like today, when someone said something... and I felt so good at the end and prayed afterwards because I know it was a test I passed!!!
This is just the beginning! I'm looking forward to learning more. Surround myself with people that are great wifes, great mothers and Christ-like.
On a different note, I brought my creation of a masquing product (mask) to school. I created this mask for an after cleansing process.
I made it with some essential ingredients such as lavender, eucalyptus & almond.
The instructor told me I needed to patent it. It made me feel very blessed for my hard work in making it.
I plan on naming this product line... "Generation Purity"
So when you see this on the shelves, pick it up, and know it's made with the love that was created by God. Because He IS Love!
Construction Ahead
Monday, March 2, 2009
Please Yield.
Relief. There have been answered prayers. I feel them within myself.
It was an extremely painful week, I'm not going to lie, but I needed it. I needed every bit of it.
Yesterday was a start to my new journey. It seems as if I can breathe better. It seems as if I'm healthier then I ever have been.
When this all began I cried and cried. I now see that even pass the pain, I was selfishly crying for me, when I should have been crying for the ones I loved because of the pain I've put them through.
I realized that it had become a natural habit for me that even though I had apologized for some of the things I had said or done, I would point fingers right back and say "We'll, you did this so you should apologize for this".
God has shown me that I need to be responsible for only my actions. To not point fingers on others mistakes. That would be calling me a hypocrite. To focus on me unless it is to uplift. It is my responsibility to be Christ-like to those around me. To uplift, to be pleasant, to be honest, to be reliable, to be responsible, to honor and protect my family.
I asked for forgiveness.
I love my God. My Father.
So although this past week was the beginning of this construction, I've got some more gravel to haul. I've taken things for granted and I'm seeing them everyday. I still need to go through this rough journey alone for now. To see what all I've taken for granted. It's hard, but I asked God to bring it! I need it. I'll do it for my family.
With every bit of love I have,
Julie Hayward
Relief. There have been answered prayers. I feel them within myself.
It was an extremely painful week, I'm not going to lie, but I needed it. I needed every bit of it.
Yesterday was a start to my new journey. It seems as if I can breathe better. It seems as if I'm healthier then I ever have been.
When this all began I cried and cried. I now see that even pass the pain, I was selfishly crying for me, when I should have been crying for the ones I loved because of the pain I've put them through.
I realized that it had become a natural habit for me that even though I had apologized for some of the things I had said or done, I would point fingers right back and say "We'll, you did this so you should apologize for this".
God has shown me that I need to be responsible for only my actions. To not point fingers on others mistakes. That would be calling me a hypocrite. To focus on me unless it is to uplift. It is my responsibility to be Christ-like to those around me. To uplift, to be pleasant, to be honest, to be reliable, to be responsible, to honor and protect my family.
I asked for forgiveness.
I love my God. My Father.
So although this past week was the beginning of this construction, I've got some more gravel to haul. I've taken things for granted and I'm seeing them everyday. I still need to go through this rough journey alone for now. To see what all I've taken for granted. It's hard, but I asked God to bring it! I need it. I'll do it for my family.
With every bit of love I have,
Julie Hayward
Today
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Today was a hard day at church. I ache.
I asked God to forgive those things I said to Jimmy, so I will know in my heart, I finally have done the right thing.
I can't speak for Jimmy. I don't know what's going on in his life. He has his own relationship with God.
As for an answer?
I don't know the answers to anything yet.
I pray that his family will be healed by this whole thing, because I know they hurt too.
I'm sorry Chris.
I'm sorry Karen.
I'm sorry Alison.
I'm sorry Johnathan.
I take responsibility for my actions, my words, my behavior.
I'm human, and the only thing I can do is ask you for forgiveness.
Although Jimmy wont forgive me now, I pray that one day in his heart, he'll somehow find a way to get ahold of me and let me know that he does forgive me.
I miss him. I truly do. Even through all the heartache.
Even through everything that has been said or done to.
I forgive you.
I fell on my knees at church today. I couldn't get up. Worship had me focus on my priorities. I can only apologize so much.
The first year of marriage is supposed to be hard. We've both said things that got under eachothers skin.
I'm willing to do whatever it takes. God HATES divorce.
I love him. I'm willing to fight for our marriage.
If we can get through this, we can get through anything.
But it takes him to want to fight with me.
I want to love, cherish, be a good wife. I desire to be a good wife for him. As much as he may doubt it now. I enhale Proverbs 31 as if I can never let it go.
My love remains.
I asked God to forgive those things I said to Jimmy, so I will know in my heart, I finally have done the right thing.
I can't speak for Jimmy. I don't know what's going on in his life. He has his own relationship with God.
As for an answer?
I don't know the answers to anything yet.
I pray that his family will be healed by this whole thing, because I know they hurt too.
I'm sorry Chris.
I'm sorry Karen.
I'm sorry Alison.
I'm sorry Johnathan.
I take responsibility for my actions, my words, my behavior.
I'm human, and the only thing I can do is ask you for forgiveness.
Although Jimmy wont forgive me now, I pray that one day in his heart, he'll somehow find a way to get ahold of me and let me know that he does forgive me.
I miss him. I truly do. Even through all the heartache.
Even through everything that has been said or done to.
I forgive you.
I fell on my knees at church today. I couldn't get up. Worship had me focus on my priorities. I can only apologize so much.
The first year of marriage is supposed to be hard. We've both said things that got under eachothers skin.
I'm willing to do whatever it takes. God HATES divorce.
I love him. I'm willing to fight for our marriage.
If we can get through this, we can get through anything.
But it takes him to want to fight with me.
I want to love, cherish, be a good wife. I desire to be a good wife for him. As much as he may doubt it now. I enhale Proverbs 31 as if I can never let it go.
My love remains.
Busy Bumblebee!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Wow! Things have been going by fast!
I'm trying to gather pure, raw, organic ingredients together to make my own skin care line. I am very excited about this! I will definately keep you updated! It's all coming together!
So, if you're interested in the best of skin care products, I will soon have exactly that! I will only settle for the best! So check back often.
Looking for quotes on labeling and bottling, so if you know of anyone... please feel free to comment on this post.
So I finally got a "Facebook". Yay! It's great to see my friends and family on there! School, work, church and all!
Yesterday The girls and I went to downtown to eat Mexican Food, and decided to get peircings. I fainted. Seriously. lol. I'm done with this part of the conversation.
Just an honest update. :)
I'm very much looking forward to the many weeks to come!!!
Many Many Blessings!
It's been awhile!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Okay, so I haven't logged in some time now!
I have been busy busy busy! Not by my choice. Pretty much because I HAVE to be right now, with school and goals.
I'm not one to enjoy time away from hubby. Honestly, it kills me. But then again, I'm passionate for what I do as well.
School has been great! Besides the 88 I made off an extremely hard exam today. I KNEW I was going to ACE it! I should have double-checked it! There were obvious wrong answers. Blah. Anyways... Other than that, work is amazing as well. Trying to get an entire list of procedures and prices down is rather complicated.
Here are the things I offer:
*Microdermabrasion
*Dermabrasion
*Facials
*Machine Facials
*Bacials
*Chemical Peels
*Waxing
*Makeup
*Permanent Cosmetics
*Hollywood Teeth Whitening
*Airbrush Custom Tanning
*Laser Hair Removal (soon to come)
I am looking to Intern for a local Entertainment industry such as for Movies, or News... so if you "know" anyone, give me some info! :)
My ultimate dream is to perform makeup applications for Specialty Clients at the Grammys & Oscars within the next few years.
I've met James Ryder who has worked with Katie Holmes, Matthew Broderick, Reese Witherspoon, Alyssa Milano, Billy Dee Williams, Andie MacDowell, Judd Nelson, Taye Diggs, Lauren Holly, John Goodman, Thora Birch, Dennis Hopper, Steve Buscemi, Christopher Meloni, Scarlett Johansson, Timothy Olyphant, Robert Wagner, Jennie Garth, Harvey Korman, Vanessa Williams, Ricki Lake, Mercedes Ruehl, Eric Roberts, Janeane Garafolo, Gregory Hines, Joe Mantegna, Morgan Fairchild, Tilda Swinton, James Spader, Bridget Fonda, James Earl Jones, Faith Ford, Cathy Moriarty, Beverly D’Angelo, and more!
What an amazing artist!
Ooops, time flew by just now! I have an appointment to make at the gym!
Bye bye Blog, Hello LAFitness!
I have been busy busy busy! Not by my choice. Pretty much because I HAVE to be right now, with school and goals.
I'm not one to enjoy time away from hubby. Honestly, it kills me. But then again, I'm passionate for what I do as well.
School has been great! Besides the 88 I made off an extremely hard exam today. I KNEW I was going to ACE it! I should have double-checked it! There were obvious wrong answers. Blah. Anyways... Other than that, work is amazing as well. Trying to get an entire list of procedures and prices down is rather complicated.
Here are the things I offer:
*Microdermabrasion
*Dermabrasion
*Facials
*Machine Facials
*Bacials
*Chemical Peels
*Waxing
*Makeup
*Permanent Cosmetics
*Hollywood Teeth Whitening
*Airbrush Custom Tanning
*Laser Hair Removal (soon to come)
I am looking to Intern for a local Entertainment industry such as for Movies, or News... so if you "know" anyone, give me some info! :)
My ultimate dream is to perform makeup applications for Specialty Clients at the Grammys & Oscars within the next few years.
I've met James Ryder who has worked with Katie Holmes, Matthew Broderick, Reese Witherspoon, Alyssa Milano, Billy Dee Williams, Andie MacDowell, Judd Nelson, Taye Diggs, Lauren Holly, John Goodman, Thora Birch, Dennis Hopper, Steve Buscemi, Christopher Meloni, Scarlett Johansson, Timothy Olyphant, Robert Wagner, Jennie Garth, Harvey Korman, Vanessa Williams, Ricki Lake, Mercedes Ruehl, Eric Roberts, Janeane Garafolo, Gregory Hines, Joe Mantegna, Morgan Fairchild, Tilda Swinton, James Spader, Bridget Fonda, James Earl Jones, Faith Ford, Cathy Moriarty, Beverly D’Angelo, and more!
What an amazing artist!
Ooops, time flew by just now! I have an appointment to make at the gym!
Bye bye Blog, Hello LAFitness!
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About Me
- Jules
- This story is about a girl that loves LOVE! Where would we be without it? I love Jesus. I love Dillon. I love dancing. I love the stars. I love singing. I love makeup & stilettos. I love fashion. I love to cook. I love photography. I love cycling, running, swimming, hiking, checking facebook friend status updates, jumping on the trampoline, going to church,I love connecting with other women who have encountered pain as I had, volunteering, watching movies, planting flowers, drawing, sewing, scrapbooking, Versa Spa, Vita-C Serum, Black finger nail polish, perfecting things. I love being totally RaNdOm! TRAVELING!!! I love sinners. I love nonbelievers. Oh the joy it brings inside this heart of mine the reaction they're going to have when they see Jesus face to face! What a party we'll have!
