When they

When they get to have a mom and dad
I had neighbors that substituted as that

When they got to have grandma and grandpa
I got to hear stories of everything I got to miss out on

When they got to have childhood family trips
I got to mow 8 acres with a push lawn mower

When they got to hear from their daddy how beautiful they are
I got to hear how worthless and a mistake I was

When they got to have their mom sit on their bed and have the big sex conversation
I was already pregnant by rape

When they got to experience giving birth next to the person they loved
I gave birth alone by emergency c section

When they got to start finding a forever mate
No one wanted a young woman with a child. They wanted their own family.

When they were happy making families
My new husband, a firefighter/pastors son began abusing my son

When they were too scared to ask me how I was coping
I was crying in my bed alone that God would take my life after he filed for divorce and they took my son

While he was lifted up because of power
A single mom with no power is pushed down

When they had 2 incomes
I had one. A very little one.

When you need help
They say "I'll pray for you"

When everyone goes on vacations and trips and buying lavish things,
Some days,... You just wonder how you got set up in this position that you're fighting day by day to see the brighter picture of life.

When everyone seems to have all this extra time for family and trusting friends,
You're exhausted from 22 credit school hours TRYING so hard to better yourself, taking care of an 11 year old boy alone, not having family, working as often as possible, baseball practices and games, entertaining the boy, Drs visits, grocery shopping, cooking meals, preparing lunches, mowing the lawn, doing laundry, cleaning, working on the car, fixing broken appliances, paying bills, trying so hard to get back in shape with very little time you have, getting to bed around 3am, waking up at 6am, sleeping alone.



Dreams do come true. And I KNOW all of this hard work will pay off indefinitely! I know by being faithful, committed, and not giving up, my dreams WILL make reality. Sometimes it is a little overwhelming,... but if I take a step back and look at the whole picture... I remember how much I like challenges!