Homework break

It's after 8 and I've been doing school work since 9
In the morning to clear that up, & it's getting close to bed time
Ugh, I feel like I've been so inactive
How to each of my professors I must give, give, give!

There's not a moment I'm not catching up on something
To every class there's so much I must bring
My backpack is so heavy it must be able to roll
On two wheels so I can have at least a little control
Of my balance and that much less strain
Cause I have no room for anything but gain

I'm the first in my family to ever go to college
I've gone for several years, and obtained much knowledge
Though Ive not had family to look up for guidance
Doing it solo, I've had much to do in advance

First, not having a family care anything about school
I was lost in a world with not one single tool
To take to my future and now think back of the times
When my mom and dad taught me of all things that were now mine.

I wish, but instead, I had to learn it all the hard way
Looking from person to person, as to which one that paid
Their dues in this life and worked incredibly hard
Willing to show how much they were apart
With how caring and giving, everything I'd like to be
From a adolescent to a wife, and finally to be the best me

I wouldn't have these dreams and these goals
If it weren't for some people who dug right into my soul
Without them even knowing, I'd like to give thanks and say
That you've been in my mind day after day

From the very young age of only 5 years old
I remember unrelated people making big changes in my little world
From a simple hug or having me over for dinner
These people were consistent, and my heart they did enter

I'm not sure how I have ended up the way I have
The trials I have gone through, if I were to graph
If you knew my story, I think you'd be amazed
A glimpse into my background, that's I'd come this far away

Away from blood family that cared for me not at all
And from how I always felt unwanted and so small
I was nothing to anyone up till the point I was grown
I couldn't tell you the pain of the times I've tried to take the life of my own

Who else has gone through 2 rapes but me
And from one I had a child that I first never wanted to see
It was even more difficult when I felt the desire to love
That no one would accept me, cause I had a son

It hurt and weakened our bond that much more
Then it already was, I couldn't be more sure.
As I grew older, it was unlikely to not have a child
Someone let us into his world, and I was in denial

He hurt my son, left bruises all over
It wasn't an option, to go back where we were
After the divorce, the judge approved my son to come back
To my home where we then picked up the slack
Of each others broken hearts knowing we'd always be
So close from that point as we both shared and got to see
That our love is so much more amazing then some
Who lived their lives as they are someone up above

We know we aren't better then the rest
But just like so many, we've had our fair share of tests
It's unbelievable how soft our hearts still are
And how often, we get hurt and frequently get scared.

We've attempted love once again
And I trusted completely that it was God that had sent
I know this is true, but I can hardly explain
How deep the emotion, and how deep the pain.

Why did I begin talking about this
I was completely fine, but now my face is a mess
My life is one big ol question mark
That time and time again, I feel I've been torn apart..

Why in this world, I don't understand why I came
From any person to me, that I carry this special name
People say to me over again they cant figure me out
They can't put their thumb down on what I'm all about

And there's not one, not one single person
That will get that part of me but my future husband.
I pray I get that opportunity to say
To him after many years, when we've worked so hard to stay
In one another's lives, through the good and the bad
I'll kiss him on the forehead, tell him it's the best life I ever had.

He'll look at me and smile, the most gentle way he does
And know, with all of my heart, that he loves me so much.
And for the first time in my life, I'll feel what true love can be
My heart pounds from the thought, of someone giving me eternity.

Snapping out of my fantasy world, just like a girl
I must now get back to homework, I think I'm gonna hurl
Maybe I will call in sick, so I can get some good sleep in bed
No, I don't miss ANYTHING, I'll do extra credit instead.