Dave Ramsey's FPU

Everything that I have done in my life, is from trial and error. My parents didn't teach me things I wish I would have been taught. Simple things like "Do you're homework" or everyday circumstances we all come across.

Although I can easily sit back and think... I wish I had those type of parents that were there, I more than less take it as a blessing.

Everything I've learned in my life was by my own trial and error. Such as finding the person to spend the rest of my life with. How I find out that his intentions to marry were to have sex, and at the time... "I was deceived into this so called thing, called love." Again, trial and error.

Funds, I've not always been the best to "budget". I've only had ONE credit card in my life, which I am totally thankful for. It was paid off and closed when I turned 23. My car is not what I "want" to drive, but it works and it's been paid off for years now. I'm the only owner and have had it for going on 10 years. lol My insurance, I changed to liability which only costs me less than $40 a month. House, paid for. Water, Electric and def. phone are necessities. Do I need Charter internet? No. I can do without. Do I need Starbucks everyday? No.

If I stopped getting my "Strawberries n' Cream w/ Soy and no Whip", here's what I'd save.
Estimate a day: $5.00
Cost Per Month: $150.00
If I invested at 12% from age 16-76... I would pocket a whole $19,371,943! Nice.

So I have taken the initiative to stop my Starbucks habit and put in some hard work each and every day in order to become a millionaire at retirement age.

This is awesome as well...
If you put aside $2k a year from age 19-26 at a 12% interest, by age 65 you (or your kids!) would have $2,288,996. That's ONLY $167 a month!!!
If you're 26+, that doesn't mean it's over for you. I'm 27! It's better late then never! =)

So, I've only been to 1 class out of 13 so far. I love my class-mates already with all my heart. I couldn't ask for a better family.

DivorceCare just ended another 13 weeks, and after 2 sessions... I believe I'm ready to move on to what God has for me next. I believe I know what I am doing... but I'm not announcing it... yet. =)

Much Much Love! From me... to you.
Even those who have been so very much cruel to me. You know who you are (because you read this). I have enough love for you too.

Blessings.

If you're happy and you know it... clap your hands!

*CLAP*CLAP*

Everyday I wake up and think... how could today possibly be better then yesterday? God seems to prove me wrong each and every day! lol. I hear you God.

I can't recall a time I've been any happier!

Things were tough growing up.... How Dillon was concieved. It took some time to build that relationship. It honestly took too long, but I can't be any more grateful than I am now for him. How I always had put the "man in my life" before him and even God. We all make poor choices. I sure have made them! Too many to count! lol.

Things are a bit different in my life now. Things have never been better, and honesty... I don't ever want them to change. I make my own decisions, and I do them quite well. As for before, I was never in control of any decision making. From, planning daily activities to even things that I feel so ashamed about that I was forced to do! On the flip side... I don't live 2 seperate lives... I'm real... I'm me... I love God... I love life... I love being a mom to the most amazing boy... and I love being single!

By all honesty... I previously wanted to have another child. But by having gone through what I went through... not only do I not trust men, but most importantly... I couldn't imagine taking any time away from Dillon. He is at the age where he can do just about anything. He's pretty much old enough, he's tall enough, he's everything really. I want him to expand his creativeness, and find who he is. Of course guidelines, boundries, rules, regulations and consistency will never part from my daily routine of motherhood... ...I don't have the desire, or even could imagine myself "getting involved" once again and starting a family after everything I went through.
It honestly kind of makes me feel nausiated.

In time, the trust will strengthen... but it still probably won't change my view. I don't know. Only God does.

Monday, Dillon and I hung out for a few hours at the park. Playing with nerf guns, and skate boarding on his RipStick. I asked him a few questions...

1) Would you like to go deep sea fishing and catch a shark?
Of course his response was "yes, but I don't want to catch a shark, I want to watch the fish with the pointy thing on his nose." Swordfish.
Honestly, I don't see how that's not anymore scary then a shark. haha.

2) On our next plane ride out, where would you want to go?
I was thinking he would say Snow Boarding, but he didn't.
Instead he said he wanted to go to California.
I assumed/thought he would want to go surfing.
He said "I want to go visit Grandma and Grandpa".
So what do I say?
Nothing... I don't know how to respond to it!
So I quickly get off the subject.

Instead of dodging the subject... how do you respond to this incredibly loving little boy with an explanation, or do you not at all? I don't like to hide things, yet I don't want to dissapoint him anymore then he already has been.

People can tell you they love you... but by their reactions and bitter words like "I wash my hands of you"... it doesn't really show love honestly.

So as I sit back in my chair now, with a smile on my face, and goosebumps on my arms... from the beginning of time I picture God creating this world... with love, because He is love, and He sent His own son to prove of that love.
It doesn't matter if peoples love fails.

God identifies love. Love identifies God. It's so amazing how one can be so perfect.

It's a perect love. And I believe that's why I am so happy being alone. Because I have perfect company. A friend that would never fail me. True love. Everlasting love. Pure love. It's more then I could ever ask for.

People are people. They're liable to let you down. But there's One I can say would never let you down. It's not at all possible. His love for you is bigger then you could ever imagine. It's indescribable.

So there are many things in my life that were definately unexpected. lol. But I am so thankful it has brought me here. For the first time in my entire life... I completely control me. I know I've said that time and time again... but I can't even put into words how FREE I feel!

I want to clap my hands a million more times!!!

I beat him up... with my makeup.

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identification please

So today, I got a phone call from my caseworker during my counseling session. So, yes it cut into my time with her, but I had to answer it because every 10 times I call my worker, I get one call back.

Things are looking up tremendously! They're starting to see the truth behind what all happened. Dillon is moving closer, specifically so we can take classes together, which will be 6 weeks long, then he should be coming home soon after. But before that, they plan on having him start staying the weekend! I am so excited!

This has been an incredibly hard process, especially when not only everything happens at one time, but the effect of me having to deal with all of this that was brought about by someone else.

One thing I told my counselor today is how disgusted I am with that situation. How if I could go back in time, I would have stopped it! How standing outside of his door listening to the paddle hit him and his scream and cries were so horrifying, it hurt me just as bad! How the excessive discipline of push-ups, jumping jacks, wall-sits just killed me that I couldn't be in the room with them! But I realized just why I didn't do anything about it.

First, my husband was the head of the household. Secondly, most important... I grew up in a broken family. My parents weren't there. I had to be an adult at an elementary school age. And he grew up in the perfect christian family. His dad being a pastor, and a president of this world wide ministry. Just listening to stories of how he was raised, gave me the impression that he knew what he was doing.

After the divorce was issued, a different side came from his entire family. Come to find later, the intelligent minded man behind all the drama was the man I previously trusted with my life. I found that there were text messages that were forwarded to his family, that bad words had been added to them to make me look bad. It doesn't surprise me, now that everything is final, I see completely. I found out later that my e-mails/facebook & myspace had been hacked and messages were written from my accounts. If it wasn't for a specific person at church to bring it to my attention, I would have never known about it.

Back to the counseling thing. First off, I love that it's over, and I can focus 100% on more important things in my life. But as for how I feel now... I am so content with being single. Maybe it's because of how wrong I was done. Or how I never thought it was possible for someone to go so far to hurt someone that they could make themselves look like the victim. My counselor told me today that it's obvious that he is his own victim. So the recovery process is going quite well, and although I have no intentions on settling down any time in the near future, all I want it to spend several straight years with just Dillon alone.

It's like when you go to your favorite restaurant, you order your favorite dish... and one day unexpectedly, once in a lifetime, out of no where, you get food poisoning. And when you do, you never ever crave that dish again, or even want to go back to the same restaurant. That's how I feel about men right now. The food may look, and taste great,... but you don't realize how bad it is until the damage is already done.

You can only suffer so much before you get deathly sick, and you can only get burnt so bad before you're unrecognizable.

I'm a very strong girl. I'm happy that I'm the kind of girl, that doesn't have to have a man to identify me. I identify myself.

"Fighter" Lyrics by Christina Aguilera

Vegan BLT

This simple sandwich happens to turn out to be my all time favorite meal! Here's how I make it:

What you will need:


2 slices of Ezekiel bread (toasted)
2 tbsp. Organic Veganaise
"Frontier" brand "Bac'uns", Vegetarian Bits (use less than shown in picture)
2 large yet thin slices of Organic Tomatoes
Small handful of Organic Romain Lettuce
Prep:

Spread 1 tbsp. of Veganaise on inside of both slices of Ezekiel Bread. Sprinkle "Bac'uns" on both sides, so the Bits will stick.

Put Lettuce on one, Tomatoes on the other. Make sure you turn over the one with Tomatoes, onto the one with Lettuce. The bits stay in place better between the Veganaise and Tomatoes.

It's as simple as 1-2-3! Enjoy!!!

As Girl As Girly Can Get

It can be stressful being a girl and all. Well, for those who spend the time on themselves to be "girly". It's time consuming, costly and downright painful sometimes. Haha.

I'm 100% girlified. I LOVE to get all dolled up. Wear the cutest of the cutest outfits. Yes, I even have to look great at the gym, according to my career description, clients are lurking everywhere! I love what I do. It's so me! I'm one of those who take the time to look good, but was blessed naturally. I'd rather be fat and lose weight, then to be skinny and ugly, that surgery can't even fix.

If you're a guy, and asking yourself, "Do pretty girls get dirty?". I can answer that for you. Yes. In several different ways. I don't mind a solid day of yard work. I enjoy it actually. Sports, fishing, etc.

Although I LOVE my heels!!!Especially stilettos, I like my tennis too. But only @ the gym, and other sports related activities. The closest I can get to barefoot is with flip-flops. I have the most well pedicured tootsies that need to be protected. =)

I am really enjoying the single life. I've always been a part of someone elses that I find it incredibly enjoyable to be me, myself and I. Totally independent, and girly! lol.

There are some priorities of course we all have to focus on. God, Children, bills. The list goes on. But it's really nice doing them all on my own. I find it quite peaceful and enjoyable to be the only one in control of my life. =)

There might be a time when God decides to make me share my life with someone. But that will be when my son is... retired!, and he will be old and wise enough to give them 1,000+1 interviews! lol. I am complete now with what I have. I'm at peace. I love life.

So for now, as I focus on my increasing business "GlamorousInk.com" and finally getting my name into the Film Industry as a Master Makeup Artist. Seeing my hopes and dreams come to reality and most importantly, volunteering for ministries. I love it, and I love beinging others happiness. And soon to have my most important main man by my side. Dillon. My 8yr old. And me by his. I can't wait to see his hopes and dreams come to reality. This boy deserves it! He's a little comedian/athlete/dancer/actor/singer/gamer/reader... he's just incredible! Hint Hint Linda McAlister.

He definitely is far from the category I originally stated in my header, but my heart for him is a as girly and mushy as anyone could ever get!

So as I sip my new favorite drink from Starbucks, "Strawberries N Cream w/ soy and no whip", I find the color of my drink to be a bit comforting... yet girly at the same time.

I'm as girly, as girly can get.