Beau

http://youtu.be/4f5KuRXtjeE 

I never knew what Godly, agape, unconditional, love was till I met you.  I thought I knew what love was. I thought I knew what breathless felt like. And one thing I've always wanted, that I NEVER had,... was a man who waited all his life to love only one woman. A man that only fantasizes  about one woman. And I couldn't be more thankful that this man chose me. I've never been so happy. So,... me. So,... so,... complete. 

Love my hair! <3

My new Burlap Wreath I just made!

My Texas Rangers Manicure & Pedicure. Heaven on the field!

Levitate at Fort Worth Nature Center!

Boy and his teenage room!

Swarovski Shift knob I embellished

Our Vacation!

Dedicated to my son

Dear Julie

Hi Julie ... Noticed you never replied back to my last message ...  Just noticed your post about Twilight Series and being alone ... May I ask why such a gorgeous woman who seems like a great Christian girl is so set against being with someone?  I've noticed it's a common thread in your posts ... Quotes and pics of quotes you have on and in your profile ... Did something really bad happen to you from your ex or a previous guy?  You can tell me it's none of my business and just ignore me or even delete me as a friend if you'd like ... It's just so sad to see and hear ... You seem like such a great catch for someone but you seem to have a lot of hurt or hatred for men or relationships .. Just my observation ... Hope and pray you'll give a good guy a chance to get through the walls you have built up .. You deserve a good guy who will love, protect and be true to you ... It is possible ... 😊   And I said all that to say .. I don't hardly know you from Adam but it breaks my heart to hear your pain .. Hope you have a blessed night 😊

I'm so very sorry for not responding. There was no reason on your part why I hadn't. Sometimes I'll read a message that I plan on getting back to later because I was to put more time, effort and emotion into a response. And there are times I get side tracked and completely forget what I was to do. 

Thank you so very much for calling me gorgeous. That's so very sweet of you. I'm actually going to tell you something that I don't express to the majority.  And I'm going to be tell you as shortly as possible. This is the reason why when you say in gorgeous and you don't even know me, hits a soft spot. 

It started Feb 26, 2010.  After the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with, someone whom I trusted, the only man I've ever fantasized about... morning, noon and night.  How stupid a girl can feel when she finds out he was on a dating website before he left. How his friends, who were my own, betrayed me. The pain of for the first time in my life having a real family. That including a real mom, and a real dad. I loved them all. So much. On such a level,... I was blind. 

I ran marathons, I worked out twice a day. I had to. I was addicted. The gym was my heroin. It was my getaway. My pain that felt so good. 

When he left, 4 days later,... CPS picked up my son. The worst week of my life.  My ex, a pastors son, a fireman, a respected individual which gave him silent power.  Never would have expected him to leave bruises on my child. 

There was no proof that he had left, according to them. I couldn't have my son. He was taken away from the only family he had. Me. Because of a man. Who said he loved us. 

I fought for my son for a long 9 months. Until the divorce was finally finalized. My son got to come back home. 

Things were wonderful. 

Months later, a church friend begs me to go out to downtown with her. She, an everyone else was tired of me waiting for his return. 

She arranged a sitter, for both mine and her son. At her home. 

We got ready. And left. 

As the sun began to set, car headlamps began to come on. We were crossing the Henderson bridge into downtown, when she said "look, it's our night, we have all green lights". Within seconds after she said that she threw her hand in front of me and yelled "THERE NOT STOPPING!!!"

Out of the corner of my right I, in the split of a second, I saw headlights, centered by red paint. 

They hit my side of the vehicle. We flipped three times into oncoming traffic.   The car stopped upside down. I don't remember the sound, but I remember after she got out, screaming my name, over and over and over again. Screaming. 

I was in a fetal position, on my knees, with my left arm bent next to my left ear and my right arm straight forward, next to my right ear. 

A by standard crawled into the car from the drivers side.  She tried to tug on my left arm, for some reason, I had not the energy nor strength to move, yet talk. But I forced myself to get enough strength to tell her not to touch me. I wasn't in pain. But I knew something was wrong. 

It occurred somewhere around 7pm.  Jaw if life and a difficult transition strapped onto a hard plastic board later. 

Around 4Am the following morning, my X-rays, cat scans and MRIs were complete. I knew I had nothing to worry about and was going to be released. 

The Dr came in and said "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, you're going to be okay. The bad news is, you broke your neck"

At that very moment I began to cry. And the strain from crying, was the first time I felt the pain. 

I told myself, I would have never been put in this situation if he hasn't of left. 

A church family took care of me and my son for several months.  They were pastoral staff. Still are. 

I'm grateful for them taking me in. But if I were to have changed anything, that wouldn't have happened. 

He would give me meds every 2 hours from what I understood. Things were going in their family and his wife began accusing him of falling for me. Well, she never stopped with the accusations and while on bed rest, he attempted his moves. She wouldn't listen to me. She would rather get her sleep and sleep in late. By the time I could shower on my home, I gave the ultimatum that I was going to go home. I didnt care of my condition. My energy went to stress, and not healing. 

So not only did I have a pastors son do what he did, but then someone people call pastor, do what he did. 

My trust was destroyed. 

But I'm not one to give up easily. I tried love again. It didn't work out, but it wasn't the kind of pain I had gone through. Actually found out that there are some good guys out there. But I had to let him go. And I am at peace about it. 

Back to the beautiful comment. After my accident, I gained over 80 pounds. And this is the part I don't tell...

Though I was once extremely active, I have purposely kept on the weight. I don't like attention, and I want to be looked passed. I feel like, if its honest, if its true, someone will fall in love with my heart. And then, I will find my happiness in the gym again. Cause I know that if he will love me now, he will no matter the condition, if not more. 

My looks have always attracted people. But I have been hurt so much by it, that sometimes,... being "beautiful" is a curse. Sometimes, you'll do whatever it takes to be beautiful no longer. Because that's not the kind of guy you want to attract. 

So, you're right. There is pain. Maybe more unpredictable thoughts of being scared.  Maybe it keeps me safe. But it also keeps me lonely at times. There are walls. But it won't take long for the right guy to get through them. 

I know this was an extremely long story. And thank you for taking time to read it. This is me. It's why I am the way I am. Just,... broken. 

Broken and bowed down to Jesus. 

Halo and Hali

My sweet boy Halo, and my sweet girl Hali. 

My lil love bug, Halo

I have honestly witnessed this. We'll just say sometime in my life between October 30th, 2008 to February 26th, 2010

#fact

Job 11:3-5

This is what happens when you testify FOR a person and against the other driver. Plus,... her PI was $25,000. I'd like to know where this $250,000 came from and how that would have worked.
I'm blessed for several people coming to me about this post and delivering it. Shows who these people really trust.

Green Bean Trellis

I started on this project yesterday. Altogether, this project cost me under $7. The wood I got from the spare wood bin from the back of Home Depot. I already had nails, and rope.

The rope was originally thicker, but 3 ropes were intertwined so I took it apart so I can staple the pieces to the trellis so the green beans can grow.

Now, commonnnnnnn green beans! :) My sons FAVORITE food.

Laura Story Blessings

Yes! Yes! Yes! I know now. I understand. It was a very long 4 year wait. But You are faithful in giving us answers we need! I love you soooooooooooooooo much!!! Thank you for blessing me! Over and over and over again! I was once told I was in denial. And I couldn't understand why. I tried to think of ALL the things I did, what I could have done better, what I did do, what I didn't do. I couldn't figure it out! I had unanswered prayers for the longest time. I was.... stuck. But what I realize now,.. is that he was right. I was in denial. But I wasn't in denial the way he thought. I wasn't in denial about myself. I was in denial about him. I lifted him up. I submitted to him FULLY and as a Proverbs wife SHOULD! But there was one thing I couldn't be submissive ENOUGH to him. And that was the dark life he wanted to live. And I didn't want any part of it. This dark life had led him down a path that he can never get back. He can never, never be "clean" again. God, I am so blessed you have allowed me to stay faithful. To be a constant in You. Thank you for Your undying love. For Your grace. Your goodness. Your prosperity. Thank you for simply,... keeping me safe in Your arms and out of harms reach(almost). I love You so, and I sacrifice my life to you. Please continue to direct my path, and USE me God. Continue to USE me for Your kingdom. Your glory!!! I am set FREE!

LIFE!!!!

We now have 5 tomatoes! And our other veggies are growing like crazy! Right after taking this pic, I transferred each veggie into its own container so they don't "suffocate" one another.

I can't wait to gets started on building our aquaponics. I think we are ready! I've already built my bell filters, just need to configure my tank situation, then bring in some fishies!

He has risen!!! And lifted my heart fully!!! I AM FREE!!!!!

I would like to tell you a little story. It's a very short story, because this story is about today.

Some of you may have seen a couple of my posts about the Highland house has a couple of significant numbers this year. I don't know why these numbers were so special,... but 1 and 3 has repeatedly shown itself for special reasons. For example, on the 3rd month of the year '13, I turned 31. Also, on the 11th month of the year '13, Dillon will turn 13. Dillon is also #1 this baseball season. It's been special since the year has begun. But I never knew why. Until today.... 3-31-13

Today I slept in. And so did Dillon. We woke up roughly about the same time. So I asked him to stay in the living room while I hide some Easter eggs. You know,... since today is Easter Sunday.

His best friend came by while I was hiding them, and I asked him if he wanted to help me hide the rest so Dillon can hunt for them. He helped and then Dillon has a great time finding them.

They then played for awhile, and I went to the back yard to work in the greenhouse and transplant some of the growing veggies into larger containers. 

As I was doing so,... Dillon came around the corner and said "Someone is here to see you."

Then I saw Laci (the neighbors grandaughter) come around, and I said "Hi Laci!"

Dillon said "Noooo, someone else!"  So,.. I was waiting for them to come around the corner.

Slowely walking around, carefully paying attention to every moment, my jaw drops and I am speechless. 

All of a sudden I felt a flood of tears flow down my face. Emotions of the past rushing through my head.

▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ .

My ex husbands best friend. I once felt betrayed by her and a few others for taking his side and leaving me alone. So. very. alone. 

It has been over 4 years since I have seen her.

She told me that she has driven by my house several times. But today, was the day God chose.

Some time back, she said I kept crossing her mind, over and over and over again. She asked God "Why?Why are you showing me her image after all she has done?" 

By talking with her, I found out all these things he has said about me. About the supposedly bipolar and all kinds of medications I am on.  But what throws me off, is that EVERYONE who knows me,... knows I hate meds. I will even suffer through horrid period cramps and a migrane before I'll even take an aleve. And even my ex husband knew that! But it was just one thing, on top of everything else I heard of what he said. It didn't surprise me. It took her time. More time then a couple others who came to me and asked me to forgive them,... but she now knows the TRUTH. 

But keep reading, because the good part hasn't come yet.

She can obviously tell, I have still held on. It still hurts. I never had closure. I knew knew WHY he left.

After so much drama, she couldn't handle it anymore. She couldn't be friends with him any longer. 

I have learned a few other things. Things that I hadn't known.

I guess all the girls that I knew he was messing around with (I only know because they messeged me on facebook) after our divorce. Things that I didn't care to know. 

He is remarried. His third marriage. A Pastors son.

But let me tell you something else. For FOUR years,... part of my heart has been waiting. I don't know exactly what I have been waiting for. But a sign. In reguards to him. Closure.

Today,... I found out my ex-husband. Someone who I have loved more than any man I have ever known...

Has herpes. And his wife does too.

In my mind, I know him well enough, to know... that's probably why he married her. 

I never thought I would get to hear or see if karma ever exists. But today I witnessed it.

For so long, I have held onto something. But today... of all days... four years later...

God chose a day I am not worthy of, Resurrection day,... to be THE DAY He lays my heart to rest.

3/31/13

My heart is completely set FREE!!! 

My pain that has only been multiplying,... is here no longer!

Thank you Jesus! Thank you!

(P.S. My ex husband-pk has HERPES!!!) if I didn't already say that.

Today... has been one heck of a day.

Aquaponics stock tank garden

Alright,... so our little greenhouse is doing good. Better than we thought actually. So now that all of our plants have sprouted, they need to be transferred.

But, I have decided that we are going to begin our next project.

An aquaponics system.

An aquaponics system is basically a tank full of your choice if fish (basically your own fish farm). This tanks water goes through a filtration system (in which you can plan herbs etc straight into clay rocks, no soil needed), then again, the water is delivered to another tank (but shallow) which keeps all of your plants afloat through holes which had been placed into a sheet of styrofoam.

Very excited about this project!

His first ride <3

My next project - Dillons Lawn Business Flatbed

This literally took me half a day to begin and completely finish. Paint and all.

I would say that the hardest part of this project was disassembling the pallet of wood!!

A friend donated her double seat bike caddy to me for my project. Blessed.

Then a neighbor had a pallet of wood he was getting rid of so I asked him if I could have it.

I measured the interior, exterior, length and width. And came up with my own measurement of how I wanted the flat bed to turn out.

(If you'd like my measurements, please contact me)

I added side rails, and a tailgate. The hardware cost me around $7. That's ALL I paid for this project. The paint, my son bought because he wanted to invest a little.

For the hardware, I used just 2 cabinet hinges, and 2 hooks that came with its little circular piece the hook latches into.

The color Dillon chose was "Pepper Grass" by Behr. I stained the interior with a red mahogany (that I already had).

I then took a little bowl to mix 4 parts "pepper green" with 1 part "black" (also already owned). This is how I created the grass art.

Then I just painted our last name on it that matches his business cards.

And whala. Half day project,... complete.

Pitbull Attack Update

48 hours later. Much, much better!

Pitbull Attack Update

24 hrs later. Cleanse #3. It's oozing much less!

Pitbull attack

It truly sucks sometimes that some of the closest people to God, get hurt the most.

Poor baby got attacked by a neighbors pitbull. He got bit 4 times. The dog was quarantined and is now being put down.

Went to Hyena's with one of my best friends and her husband tonight. It was so funny. Brad Michaels, who is a "midget", was the lead comedian for tonight's standing act. I've seen him before and won't forget what he said at the last I saw him....

You see, midgets get so mad at that word. Midgets. But just like that and other words, when you try and ban a word, you give that word MORE POWER!

I'll never forget that. And it's been a LONG time ago since I've seen him so it goes to show how much of an impact that little phrase made in my life.

Happy groundhogs day

The stars hold stories from long ago
Under every single one that gives its little glow.

My story, your story, from near and far
Life making memories under EVERY single star.

From love and pain, no story's the same
We come and we go, sometimes nothing to show.

We give and we fight, for what we feel is right.
We cry and we pray, for what it feels like nothing's changed.

Why I hold on, I have not a clue.
There's something in the stars that lead my memories straight back to you.

Half a decade, today would be,
But I continue to share it, with only me.

As time moves on and stars fade away,
We will grow gray, as the world continues to change.

Today, tomorrow a new star will shine
New memories for those who won't be left behind.

My star has fought, a really hard war,
But what keeps me going, us my faithful savior.

His plan is more divine than I could possibly imagine.

Julie Highland

Mother / Son Project

Dillon' bathroom

Much needed nap, but you'd think that after 4 years, I wouldn't have these dreams anymore.